Short version:  I ate ice cream for dinner, and crave pickles at lunch….and this bump….yes it is true!  I am pregnant!  BUT Melissa is not going to gain the new title of middle child.  David and I are excited to announce that I am a gestational carrier, aka surrogate for a family here in Austin.

Intro:  The WHY

Looooong version: David and I have a heart to help others.  We witnessed many of our friends and family members struggle with having children and wished we could help. When Scott was about 2 we started looking into surrogacy. After we began the process we both got a very clear message from the Lord saying the timing was not right yet.  We knew we wanted more children of our own, and it was suggested that we wait until we felt our family was complete.  Both of my pregnancies were textbook perfect.  I LOVED being pregnant, I was happy, never sick, and had plenty of energy even working full time.  David liked it too.  We have pictures of me pregnant blown up on our bedroom wall…..just sayin! 😉

First journey: The HOW

Fast forward…when Melissa (now 5) was about 2 and a half, we started praying about it again.

We found an agency online that we wanted to work with.  It is a huge process. A marathon not a sprint.  After the initial application, there is then a much longer questionnaire asking very difficult questions about all the what ifs, and what we would or would not do, the relationship with the family during and after etc…this is to help find the perfect match who have the same desires/beliefs as we do. Once you are matched with a family (and even that process could take a bit of time if the agency has more than one family for you to consider.  It is very emotional!) Next there are phone interviews, there are medical screenings, psych screenings (this could be its own blog post because this is such a huge part of the process), then once all that clears it is time to do the legal contracts.

After contracts are done, the fertility doctor that you will work with will give you a calendar based on your cycle, and it is time to start the oh so fun meds.  If you have ever experienced IVF cycles, it is almost identical at this stage.

The family has created an embryo, either fresh or they can be frozen until ready to implant.  Once your body is ready, and the meds have done their job, it is time for the embryo transfer.  This is an in office procedure and is absolutely amazing and mind boggling….the whole thing is really. They use a catheter to insert the microscopic embryo into my uterus….and then we wait.  Some doctors put you on bed rest for a few days, some just say take it easy, but you can return to work.

Our timeline for all of this:  So we applied in Fall of 2014 when Melissa was 2 and scott was 5. It only took a few months to complete all the paper work and we were matched in November of 2014.  The family we were matched with had just moved to Florida, but their doctor that they loved and trusted was in California (where they had done all of their treatments themselves previously).

So I had to travel to California for the medical screening appointment (a very long day there and back), and then for the transfer as well.

It took us a very long time to get through the psychological screening and legal process since it was all being done over the phone and doing legal through different states there was a lot of back and forth.  We finally traveled to California in May 2015 for the embryo transfer.  We got to do a little bit of touring while we were there so that was nice.  Then after the transfer they required bed rest in the hotel for about 2 days before traveling back.  It was a nice getaway with just David and I.

It takes about 10 days for you to find out if it was successful or not.  I chose not to do any home tests because I did not want to take the risk of false positives and the family did not want to know until Beta…and I don’t keep big secrets well….so we just waited.

Unfortunately, the transfer failed and did not result in a pregnancy.

The transfer was a fresh embryo transfer, however they had frozen the remaining embryos that they had.  They decided they wanted to try again.

During this process, we found out that I had some polyps around my ovaries and the doctors wanted to run some tests and possibly remove them before continuing.  In September of 2015, I had a surgery called a hysteroscopy to go in and remove the polyps.  It was painless, and recovery was easy. I was also going through a job change at this time, so I was without insurance and that was becoming an issue to find a temporary insurance that would cover a surrogacy pregnancy.  This majorly slowed us down in the second attempt.

Finally, around December of 2015, we travelled back to California again for the second attempt at an embryo transfer.

This attempt failed too, and after many tears, and prayers, this family decided they did not want to do a 3^rd round.  I was crushed because I so wanted to help them start a family, and I felt like I had failed them.  They decided to go a different route to expand their family.  I did not know if my desires to help a family would ever come to fruition, with 2 failed transfers…who would choose us to carry their precious child now?

Second journey:  THE NOW

We let some time to pass, and decided that we wanted to go with a different agency this time.  I really wanted a close relationship with the family, and preferred a local family that could be involved in all aspects of the pregnancy, be at appointments, and become close friends etc.  I had a pretty good network of surrogate friends here in Texas and they helped me connect a local matching agency which I knew the owners of personally.

We were matched with a wonderful couple in September of 2016.

My new insurance would take effect in January, so we decided to wait until then to do any medical screenings. It took a couple of months to do the psych screening appointments, and all of the legal contracts.  As we began the medical screening appointment part of the process, they found a large cyst on my ovary in January.  The doctors had me continue on active birth control and check back every few weeks to see if it would go away on its own.  We waited and waited and this thing was not going anywhere…and maybe even growing.  I was so sad.  We were so ready to help this family.  They were so loving,

and understanding through all of it, and never once made me feel like anything was my fault.

In April, the doctor decided we had waited long enough, and we needed to do surgery to remove the cyst.  I had the laparoscopy surgery done in April.  Everything went great, and I was able to start meds in June.  We transferred 2 embryos on June 20^th.  The parents were able to be there and watch the whole thing.  What a special day!  This time I did pee on sticks and sure enough the results were looking great!  They were so involved they wanted to know each test I took haha! I took a lot.  🙂  We had the official blood test on June 29^th, 2017 and it was confirmed that I was indeed PREGGO!!!!

Now with this being a surrogate pregnancy, they treat it as a high risk pregnancy and I am monitored very closely through appointments and weekly bloodwork to make sure baby is growing and all of my hormone levels are doing what they should.  (sorry I don’t know how to explain all of that well).  Each week we eagerly awaited my HCG levels and watched them grow beautifully.  There was excitement and still some more waiting.  It would not be for a few more weeks before we knew the headcount, did both embryos stick, or just one, or there is even a chance that one could split.  You can’t tell too much from the numbers.

Since the Dad travels a lot, they wanted to be at the appointment, but the timing was not quite right. This doctor is so awesome, that they did sneak peek first just so the dr could make sure all was well, but then we came back in when they could be there for the ultrasound to hear the heartbeat and find out if it was one or 2.  There was ONE perfectly healthy little baby.  They were overjoyed (twins would be great but also a more challenging pregnancy and birth and beyond….so they were a little relieved actually)

The parents are so incredibly grateful, kind, and encouraging.    I am so blessed to be a blessing!  God is good!

The pregnancy has been smooth.  This summer while on meds was very rough.  I was exhausted and nauseous.  My poor (or lucky) kids had more screen time than ever because I did not want to leave the house (and if you know me you know that is a big deal). I have not thrown up, but if I don’t eat I feel yucky, and often do not want to look at food in the evenings.  That’s been the worst of it.  Now that I am in the 2nd trimester, I have more energy, and feel completely normal.  Still adjusting to the whole stay at home mom thing with no kids at home.  Should do a separate blog about that!

A few weeks ago we did some genetic testing and everything came back perfect and we found out it is a GIRL!

We will continue to post updates on how the pregnancy is going.  I am now 14 weeks.

Thanks for praying for us and supporting us on this journey to help them complete their family!  I am blessed to be a blessing with their bun in my oven!